TWEENS09 Who Woulda Known?
by A Rhea King
Summary: The pranks go on. A mud bath is good for the soul. Archer gets more parenting experience. Pirates attack Enterprise. Two crewmen find a hole in the wall with a fine view. The reclamation crew has many secrets, Jokra learns about one.
1. Stop That Running Cap!

Chapter 9 : Who Woulda Thought?  
By A. Rhea King

_Stop That Running Cap! (1)_

Ensign Fletcher flipped his cap up and caught the top. He took it by the brim and started turning it, looking at the lift controls. The lift stopped on deck D and the doors opened. Ensign Fletcher smiled when Trip and Captain Archer looked up at him.

"Evening, sirs," Fletcher said, stepping around the two. He glanced down at Porthos standing between the two men. "Hey Porthos."

Porthos looked up at Ensign Fletcher, wagging his tail in response.

"Evening Ensign," Trip said as he stepped onto the lift past Fletcher.

Fletcher tossed his hat up again as he walked away.

"Porthos," he heard Archer call.

Fletcher reached out to grab his hat as it fell back toward him and a flash of brown and white appeared, snatched the hat from mid-air and took off at a run down the hall.

"PORTHOS!" Ensign Fletcher yelled.

Ensign Fletcher ran after the dog and had to smile at the sight. His cap was flapping back and forth, sometimes completely covering the Beagle's head. Porthos reached a dead end and spun, dropping the hat in front of him. He crouched down on his front legs, wagging his tail and growling at the Ensign. Ensign Fletcher stopped in front of Porthos.

"Oh! So that's what this is all about?" Ensign Fletcher smiled. "You think you're big and bad!"

Porthos barked, wagging his tail harder.

Fletcher laughed and grabbed for the hat. Porthos snatched it away and ran around Ensign Fletcher, stopping behind him and again dropping it and crouching. Ensign Fletcher spun around, grabbed for it and laughed when Porthos snatched it up as his fingertips grazed the material. Porthos darted between his legs and spun around to repeat his game of keep away.

Archer and Trip rounded the corner and stopped, watching the two and laughing

"That's my hat ya' silly mutt!" Ensign Fletcher laughed at the dog.

Porthos snatched the hat and ran toward Archer and Trip. Archer reached out to grab him and he dodged Archer's hand, slipping between his legs.

"Excuse me, sirs," Ensign Fletcher said, racing past the two.

Archer turned and followed at walk.

"Uhm…I guess you should tell T'Pol we're going to be late, huh?" Trip asked Archer.

Archer stopped at companel. He leaned against the wall, watching down the hall instead of using the companel. Porthos had stopped in a junction and was playing keep away again. Ensign Fletcher played a couple rounds before snatching the Beagle up and tugging his cap away from Porthos. He lightly batted Porthos across the nose with the cap, laughing each time Porthos tried to grab the cap from him. Ensign Fletcher pulled the cap on backwards on his head and Porthos barked, watching the cap.

"Yeah. Well. Fun has to end. I'm starving," Ensign Fletcher explained to the dog.

Porthos licked his chin and he gave the dog a rub on the head. "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry when it counts, right?"

Porthos barked. Ensign Fletcher sat him down and pointed to Archer. "Go on."

The Beagle barked, dancing around Ensign Fletcher's feet. The Ensign crouched down, rubbing the dog's head again.

"Maybe later. Go on, Porthos. Go."

"Come 'ere Porthos," Archer called.

Porthos trotted over to Archer and sat down at his feet, dusting the floor with his tail. Archer smiled at him.

"Have fun?"

Porthos let out a low howl.

"Good. Can we go to supper now?"

Porthos barked and howled.

"Good evening, Captain," Ensign Fletcher called.

Archer looked up, watching him disappear into the adjoining hall. Archer looked down at Porthos.

"You have friends everywhere, don't you?" Archer started walking back toward the lift.

Trip fell in beside him, glancing down at Porthos with a smile.

The two stepped onto the lift and Porthos sat down between them. He barked at the closing door.


	2. Counterattack

_Counterattack (2)_

Sherie laughed with two crewmen as she turned into the mess hall. She flicked back a strand of brown hair, scanning the faces for Trip. He hadn't returned her prank of locking him out of the computers yet. And after he had reprimanded her by making her work on the hydraulics in reclamation, she had set the timer to keep him out all day. So she was expecting retaliation at any time. Sherie got a tray and food, walked over to the resequencer and pulled a glass out of the cabinet beside it. Sherie sat it inside and pressed the order button.

"Soda, cola."

The replicator poured cold chicken noodle soup into the glass. Sherie slowly took the glass out, looking at it. She sat the glass aside and got another, repeating the order. Again she was given cold chicken noodle soup. Sherie got another glass, deciding to try another order.

"Tea, cold, plain."

The resequencer poured out marinara sauce. Sherie took the glass out, staring at the sauce.

"Excuse me, Sherie," her roommate, Amanda, said.

Sherie moved aside without thinking. She looked up as Amanda requested her order.

"It's not work—" Sherie stopped, watching the cold milk Amanda had ordered, pour into the glass.

"What?" Amanda asked her.

Sherie smiled. She grabbed a glass and handed it to Amanda.

"Order a cola soda for me."

"Why?"

"Just do. I have a feeling I know why it's not working for me."

Amanda grinned, laughing. "Revenge, huh?"

"Let's see, shall we?"

Amanda put the glass in the resequencer. "Soda, cola."

Cola soda poured into the glass. Amanda took it, handing it to Sherie. Sherie collected the glass of marinara sauce and followed Amanda over to a table.

Sherie sat her tray down. "I'll be right back," Sherie said to Amanda. She picked up the glass of marinara sauce and walked away.

The five at the table watched her walk over to the captain's mess hall door.

#

"…yeah, but he—" Trip stopped when the doorbell of the room beeped.

"Come in," Archer said.

Sherie walked in and sat the glass of marinara sauce down beside trip.

"What's this?" Trip asked.

"Oh. That would be cola soda." Sherie cocked her head to the side. "I suspect it tastes good on bread. Or it would if it were warm. Have a nice evening!" She glanced at Archer. "Captain."

Archer watched her leave and then looked at Trip. He was chewing his food, apparently hoping that would mask his grin. Archer looked at his plate.

"Day camp, maybe," Archer muttered.

"You said summer camp last time."

"I'm saying day camp now. Three and four year olds."

"Interesting. Should we report that to Starfleet? Let them know lengthy time at space seems to regress humans?"

"Only you and Sherie." Archer looked at him. "You were saying?"

"Oh. Yeah," Trip continued his story.


	3. The Mud Bath Incident

_The Mud Bath Incident (3)_

They were wet and hot and tired and—except for T'Pol—they had all lost their patience to even tolerate one another's voice. Archer had finally ordered everyone to shut up until they reached the shuttle pod, yelling the order so loud it had momentarily silenced the non-stop chorus of birds that had began grating on his nerves for three days now. Archer looked up at Ensign Cutler walking in front of him. The back of her tank top was soaked with sweat that made her skin gleam. A huge green leaf slipped over her shoulder and he ducked to miss getting yet another cut on his face from the razor edged leaf.

As if on cue, the eight stopped when they heard thunder rumble.

"NOT AGAIN!" Cutler yelled, letting her head fall back. "I hate this planet. This planet SUCKS!"

"The shuttle is another three kilometers," T'Pol informed Cutler. She was four people ahead of Archer, but the lush plant life hid her from his view.

"Move people!" Archer snarled.

From behind Archer, Trip muttered, "Move _please_."

Archer ignored him.

The line started moving again. They could hear the heavy rains coming and then it was on them again, drenching them, their camping gear and darkening their moods even more. Archer kept walking, ducking his head to use the brim of his cap to keep the rain off his face. The brim of his cap was soaked to the point it simply wilted down over his eyes this time. Archer angrily ripped it off his head and tossed it aside. The rain became a deafening downpour that drowned out all other sounds. Archer felt Trip's hand on his shoulder and heard him say something.

"What?" Archer yelled over the rain, looking back at Trip.

And then he and Trip were both flying down the side of the mountain with a mudslide. The two kept hitting each other as they attempted to keep their distance from outcropping rocks and logs. Sometime during the slide their packs were ripped off their backs. The mudslide rolled the two men over a two-meter drop, depositing them in a heap in the center of a shallow pool of mud. Trip surfaced and groped around the mud for Archer. Archer sprung to his feet gasping for air, slipped and landed on his butt beside Trip under the flow of mud running off the mountain side and powering over their heads. The force of the flow kept the two down men and all they could was make an air pocket around their mouths with their hands and wait for it to stop. The rain that had brought on the mudslide passed as fast as it had come and the flow finally slowed to dripping mud over the ledge. Archer dropped his hand, glaring into the rainforest ahead of him and muttering curses at the situation. Trip cleared his throat.

"Shut! Up!" Archer snapped.

Trip smiled. "Mud's good for the skin."

Archer looked at Trip. "I suppose this is _fun_ for you?"

Trip grinned. "No. But this is." Trip leapt to his feet and dunked Archer into the mud and pulled him back up.

Archer swung his fist at Trip, his punch finding Trip's side. The two broke into a fistfight that quickly became a game of dunking and keep away accompanied by laughing and taunting.

"BOYS!"

The two turned, finding the rest of the away team standing at the edge of the pool staring at them. The two men were covered with dark brown mud and only the whites of their eyes showed. They both grinned, adding the white of their teeth to their mud masks.

Hoshi grinned. "Captain."

"Yes?" Archer started toward the shore of the pool.

All but T'Pol instinctively backed away. Hoshi grabbed T'Pol's arm, pulling her back with them and safely out of Archer or Trip's reach.

"Have you taken your medication, Captain?"

"Captain Archer isn't on medication," T'Pol stated.

Archer grinned. "Yes. Want some?"

"No. Are you two _children_ having _fun_?"

Trip stood up next to Archer, his grin widening.

"We should do that again!" Archer looked at Trip. "The whole sliding down the mountain and dropping into the pool. That was fun."

"Oh yeah! That was awesome!"

"UH-HUM!" Hoshi said.

The two looked at her.

"Could we maybe go?" Hoshi asked them, motioning up the mountain.

"Oh. Yeah. That," Archer smiled again. "What'd'ya think Trip?"

Trip appeared to be thinking. "Go or stay. Go or stay. Tough decision."

"That's it. We're leaving them you two here!" Cutler turned and started back up the mountain.

Archer laughed, watching all but T'Pol start up the mountain.

"Sweetheart," Trip crooned, opening his arms to T'Pol as he walked toward her.

She turned and followed the away team up the mountain.

"What got into her, ya think?" Archer asked Trip, watching her disappears into the foliage.

"I dunno." Trip turned and pushed Archer back in the pool

Archer surfaced, lunged up and yanked Trip back into the mud. The two broke into a wrestling match. Trip got Archer locked in a headlock and counted to five. He jumped to his feet.

"WINNER! HA-HA! You may be able to fly circles around me, Jon, but you will never, ever be able to win wrestling!"

Archer's smile turned cool as he looked up to Trip. "Maybe so. But so long as you keep yapping, I'll always out-wit you!" Archer leapt up, wrapped his arm around Trip's neck and tripped him back into the mud with him.

Trip surfaced and threw mud at Archer, covering him again with mud. The two sat back in the mud laughing hard.

"CAPTAIN!" the away team yelled from the trail above them.

The two looked up the mountain and then at each other.

"I think they wanna go somewhere," Archer said.

"Naw. Figment of your imagination."

"TODAY CAPTIAN!" Hoshi yelled.

"Ma Hoshi's callin'. Better go," Trip said, climbing out of the pool.

"She's always ruining my fun!" Archer joked.

The two started the trudge up the mountain.

"I think this is one to write home about. Not the before part. That was terrible."

"The ruins were interesting." Archer pointed out. "Really far, but interesting."

Trip stopped, looking back at Archer. "Are you insane?"

"Certifiable," Archer said as he passed Trip.

"I knew that!"

Archer laughed. He reached the trail to find the others waiting and looking cross.

"What fun is it being a captain if I can't forget I'm a captain once in a while?" Archer asked them.

Hoshi rolled her eyes and they all turned to follow T'Pol. Hoshi glanced back, smiling at Archer. Archer laughed, glad to see he wasn't in too much trouble with his crew.


	4. Edify

_Edify (4)_

"We're gonna get in trouble," Eartik whispered as he followed Navta.

"Shh," Navta hissed back at him.

She came to a beam crossing her path and slowly eased her way around it. Eartik did the same.

"Navta, you're gonna get us both in trouble. If my mom and dad find out—"

"Would you shut up already? We aren't going to get in trouble."

Eartik shot a glare at Navta's back. Navta looked over the edge of the beam the two were walking across. Nearly 3.7 meters below them Archer was talking with some alien visitors. To his left T'Pol stood at rigid attention. To his right Hoshi was helping to translate words between Archer and the aliens. Trip stood behind them with a bored look. Navta slipped around another cross beam as she continued leading the way across the loading bay. She reached the opposite side and jumped, quietly catching the railings of a service ladder. Eartik waited for her to climb up a few rungs and then jumped to the ladder too. The two climbed to a Jeffery tube access door and crawled in. Eartik closed the door behind them, glancing at the people below. He smiled and shut the door.

#

"K'PAN!" Navta cried as she ran into the dining room.

Archer let her hug him but didn't return it. Navta stepped back, staring at him. Navta looked at Trip. He was silently eating his supper with his eyes on his plate. She looked at T'Pol. The Vulcan was patiently cutting a piece of carrot and kept her eyes on her plate. Navta looked back at Archer.

"You're angry K'pan. Was there a fight?"

Archer sat his fork down and folded his arms on the table. He looked at Navta.

"Do you remember when I asked you not to climb in the rafters of the cargo and shuttle bays?" Archer asked her. "Or when I asked you to stay out of the Jeffery tubes and maintenance tunnels?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember what you said?"

Navta smiled. "Yes. I said I wouldn't do it again."

"Have you been in the rafters, tubes or tunnels today?"

"No."

T'Pol didn't speak.

"T'Pol."

T'Pol looked at Navta. "When we were in cargo bay two with the senators from Derivon, I sighted you and Eartik crossing a beam. You both made a very risky leap onto a ladder, climbed to a Jeffery tube door and went inside. Do you wish to change your answer?"

Navta looked from T'Pol to Archer and back. "That wasn't me."

"_That_ wasn't you?" Archer asked her. "I see. So either you were somewhere in the loading bay watching two children crossing that beam. Or you were crossing it with Eartik. And Eartik has already admitted that you two were up there and that you went into the Jeffery tube. His father was very angry with him about it. Do you know why?"

Navta looked down.

"Navta."

"Because you said it's dangerous to be in the rafters and tubes and tunnels. If we fell from the rafters we could die. And if something happened in the tubes and tunnels, sensors may not pick us up for a long time."

"That's right. I'm going to ask you one more time, were you in the rafters in loading bay two today?"

Navta nodded.

"You're grounded for a week."

Navta looked up at Archer. "What's grounded?"

"You are to report to school, your quarters and the mess hall. Nowhere else."

"But what about—"

"Nowhere else."

Navta's face grew angry. "You can't discipline me!" she yelled.

"I can't?"

"No!"

"And why is that?"

"Only Zintar or Vardee can. They're like me. You're not."

Archer turned, leaning close to Navta's face. "You are on my ship. I am your captain. I can, and I will, discipline you. And Zintar has no say in this, is that clear?"

Navta hissed like a snake at Archer.

"Stop it!" Archer snapped at her. "That'll be enough of that. You got yourself into this, Navta. I told you this would happen if I caught you again."

Navta started to cry. "You don't want to do this. I can feel it."

"You're right, I don't. But you broke your promise to me and you just lied to me. I warned you the last time that I would punish you if you disobeyed me again. And that's how come I'm grounding you."

Navta started crying a little harder. "I don't like you!"

Archer frowned a little. "That's too bad because I still like you even though you broke your promise and lied to me. I had your supper sent to your quarters and Ensign Paris is waiting for you. You have five minutes to get there or I'm grounding you for another week."

Navta started crying a little harder. "I won't do it again."

"Go, Navta," Archer said.

"Yeah, but—"

"Go. Navta."

Navta turned and ran out of the dining room. Archer turned and sank back against his chair.

"Ya think a week was too long?" he asked Trip and T'Pol.

"Are you kidding?" Trip asked back. "If you were my dad, I'd have been grounded for a month for doing it, another month for lying and stuck painting the fence for breaking my promise."

"However, she did appear to be quite distressed about being disciplined by you," T'Pol pointed out. "She respects you a great deal and a week may not be necessary to punish her this time."

Trip smiled at T'Pol. "T'Pol has a soft spot for Navta you know. It happened after the mother's day card incident." Trip smiled at T'Pol when she looked at him, "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

T'Pol didn't reply.

Archer laughed at the two. "Maybe two days."

"Ya old softie!" Trip laughed.

"I need my daily gossip reports! How else am I supposed to keep up to speed about who's dating who and what's happening behind my back?" Archer picked up his fork and resumed eating.

"She does snoop well," Trip laughed.

"Due to her unobtrusive tactics and her child-like appearance, crewmen tend to view her as little threat," T'Pol said. "However, they are aware that what they say around her is usually told to you."

"What I tell ya?" Trip laughed. "T'Pol, I think that Vulcan in you is starting to lose a little more footing today."

T'Pol looked at him, raising her eyebrow. "It is not departing. It is merely evolving."

Archer and Trip laughed at her joke.


	5. Drollery

_Drollery (5)_

Archer was quickly growing impatient. He looked at Travis, Hoshi, Malcolm and T'Pol. T'Pol was the only one that didn't look like she had other things to be doing right now. Archer turned to press the companel behind him.

"Oh my God!" Hoshi started laughing.

Archer turned. At first he was too shocked to say anything. Trip walked to stand beside T'Pol, looking down at the PADD in his hand. Archer stepped back up to the situation console and cleared his throat.

"Uhm…let's get started T'Pol," Archer said.

T'Pol was supposed to give an astronomic report first, but she didn't even hear Archer. She was staring at her boyfriend. His hair was almost red and his skin was dyed carnation pink. On the other side of the console Hoshi had her eyes shut tight and was tearing from laughing so hard. Malcolm's mouth twitched from withheld laughter and Travis was looking out at the bridge so he didn't have to look at Trip. Archer looked down, closed his eyes for a few minutes and then cleared his throat.

"Trip…perhaps…you should go get cleaned up."

"I did, sir," Trip replied.

"You did?" Archer looked up at him.

"Yes. I took a shower. It was red. I found this out after I'd already gotten completely wet and consequently pink." Trip looked at Archer with a serious expression. "And did you know that in our database we have a song called 'Pink'. A band named Aerosmith sings it. It was playing when I got out." Trip looked up at the lights, as if musing over the thought.

Hoshi leaned on the console, howling with laughter.

"Trip…I'm going to intervene. This is extreme, even for Sherie."

"No you're not." Trip shook his head, looking at Archer.

"Excuse me?"

"You won't intervene."

"Yes I am."

"Sir, with all due respect, I—"

"You're _PINK_!" Archer snapped.

"I've noticed, but I you can't interv—"

"Excuse me," someone interrupted

Everyone looked up. Sherie was standing on the bridge, looking at Trip with a smile. She had damp green hair drooping down her green stained face. She grinned, biting her bottom lip.

"You know, Commander, Christmas is a month away. Perhaps we should get the Quartermaster to make us elf costumes. You can wear green, I'll wear red." Sherie winked at him with a grin.

Trip smiled at her. "That's a great idea!"

"You two need to stop this," Archer ordered, taking advantage of the two being in the same room.

"Why?" Malcolm started laughing. "They're keeping us amused, sir!"

Trip looked at Archer. "Sir, with all due respect, Sherie and I are adults. We are very capable of settling this matter like adults."

"I agree wholeheartedly with Commander Tucker, sir," Sherie agreed.

Archer sighed. He could tell he wasn't getting through to either of them.

"Fine. But if anyone gets hurt, or one of your pranks damages anything on this ship, you're both spending time in the brig. I don't care whose turn it was to pull the prank. Is that clear? Both of you?"

"Yes, sir," Sherie and Trip answered together.

Sherie looked at Trip. "Good day, Commander Tucker. And remember, it was just the battle, not the war."

Trip smirked, looking at Archer. "She's really a great person if you don't piss her off, sir."

"I'll bet." Archer looked at Travis, Malcolm and Hoshi. They were laughing so hard they were crying. "As soon as you three have found some composure, could we maybe start this meeting?"

Trip smiled, looking at T'Pol. "Maybe I should keep the red hair."

T'Pol shook her head.


	6. Brigands

_Brigands (6)_

Archer grabbed the arm of his chair when _Enterprise_ rocked from another phaser hit.

"Sir, we're losing shielding," Malcolm informed him.

"What _aren't _we losing?" Archer asked sarcastically.

"The engine just went off line, too, sir."

_Enterprise_ rocked again.

"We've been boarded, Captain," T'Pol said.

Archer stood and turned. He stared at the phase rifle aimed at him held by an alien much shorter than himself. The alien was dressed in a black and tan body suit, a full-length jacket with a variety of dangling medals and a helmet with a mask that covered the alien's face.

"Don't move," the alien facing him ordered. The alien's voice sounded computerized and twangy, making Archer suspect the helmet had a translator built into it. "Tell the Vulcan to put the weapon down."

Archer didn't move.

The alien shot past Archer, hitting helm control centimeters from Travis' arm. Travis leapt away, turning to face the alien but staying behind Archer.

"The next one will kill you and him."

Archer looked at T'Pol. She had her hand half raised with a phase pistol in it. He nodded once to her.

"What do you want?" Archer asked.

"Move over there," the alien motioned him to move in front of the helm controls. "Order your crew to follow."

Archer moved as ordered, motioning his crew to join him.

"We haven't met many aliens that can speak English," Archer commented.

"Then you will understand me well when I tell you to _shut up_."

Archer started to speak and the alien shot him in the arm.

"AH!" Archer yelled, falling back against T'Pol.

"The next one is to the heart," the alien told him.

Archer kept quiet, holding his arm. Behind the alien, three more aliens were transported to the bridge. The four began talking in their own language that Archer recognized immediately.

"They're speaking Varlikon," Hoshi whispered.

Archer nodded. In Varlikon he asked, "If you tell me what you want, perhaps I can help you find it."

The four stopped talking and looked at him.

"This is a science vessel. We have nothing of value on board," Archer continued, "but if there is something you need, I'm sure we can negotiate something."

The first alien aimed the phase rifle at him.

"Wait," one of the new arrivals said. "Where did you learn Varlikon?"

"We have Jit aboard, and they—"

"KILL THEM ALL!" the second ordered, turning.

"THEY AREN'T SLAVES!" Archer yelled before the alien fired.

The second stopped and looked back at him. "You are Varlikon. What else would they be? Food?"

"We aren't Varlikon. Does she look Varlikon to you?" Archer motioned to T'Pol.

"Varlikon enslave many races. If these Jit are not slaves, then what are they?"

"Friends. They're our friends."

The four laughed.

"The Jit are your friends?" the alien asked. "I find that hard to believe. So what species are you going to tell me you are if you are not the Varlikon you look like? Hm?"

"We're human. And the Jit on this ship are our friends and family. One is married to my officer here," he motioned to Malcolm. "They have twins. If you don't believe me, call Vardee to the bridge. Or Ryce, or Xerrix, or Drista, or Brila. Call any of the—"

"Brila?"

"Narloc," the first said. "He's lying. I'll kill them and we can get on with it."

"He's not lying, but yet he hides things."

Archer stepped forward. "You're Jit, aren't you? Only Jit can sense emotions. Varlikon can't."

The second alien, Narloc, ignored Archer's question. "Where is this Brila?"

"I…" Archer hesitated. "T'Pol, Where's Brila at right now?"

"She should be in the galley helping prepare the mid-day meal," T'Pol answered.

"The galley? What is this?"

"It is where they prepare food for consumption," Archer explained.

"What does she do there?"

"She cooks. She's one of our chef's assistants."

"Is she any good?"

Archer shrugged his eyebrows. "I eat most everything she cooks. I guess that's good."

"You," Narloc pointed at Archer. "Show me where this galley is. Show me this Jit named Brila."

"Let my crew go and I'll gladly show you."

"When I am satisfied that you are not lying about the Jit being slaves, then I will let you and your crew go. Until then, there are no negotiations. Now move. Unless you prefer to be a dead captain."

Archer walked to the lift and pressed the button. He stepped on and Narloc stepped on beside him. Archer pressed the button for deck E and the lift dropped.

"Why did you attack us?" Archer asked Narloc.

"Silence could be a valuable asset to your right now, Captain," Narloc suggested.

Archer glanced back at her but obeyed her suggestion. The lift stopped and Archer led her through the halls. He passed several crewmen being held by these aliens or Jit. His crew watched him pass with worried looks but kept silent. Archer entered the mess hall to find the galley crew held in a corner with several other crewmen. Brila was watching the scene from behind two taller crewmen but showing little emotion compared to the human crewmen standing around her.

"Call her forward," Narloc ordered Archer.

"Brila," Archer called.

Brila stepped between the two men in front of her. "Yes, Captain Archer?"

"This…person wants to speak to you," Archer said, nodding at Narloc.

Narloc nodded once to the aliens holding the crewmen under arms. They let Brila pass and she walked up to Archer and Narloc. Brila reached her hand toward Archer's bleeding wound, the dull light of her healing power illuminating her hand. Narloc caught her wrist, pushing it away from him Archer.

"You are Jit?" Narloc asked.

"Yes," Brila answered.

"What breed?"

"Kathah."

"And you cook?"

"Yes."

"What do you like to cook?"

Brila blushed. "Uhm, deserts mostly."

Narloc scoffed. "A Kathah that likes desserts over meat. She is _not_ Jit!"

"I am!" Brila protested. "I just prefer fruits and deserts. I always have."

Narloc said nothing for several minutes. "Show me your right shoulder."

"What?"

"Your right shoulder."

Brila looked up at Archer.

"She has retractable claws," Archer told Narloc. "She can heal this wound with her touch too."

"YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER NOW!" Narloc yelled.

Brila growled at Narloc, but turned and pulled down the neck of her shirt off her right shoulder. Narloc pulled the shirt down a little further, exposing a scare about five centimeters long and two centimeters wide with scars along it from stitches.

"When did you get this?" Narloc asked, letting Brila's shirt go.

"When I was four."

"How?"

"I was playing in a ship and fell."

"What happened?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"What happened?" Narloc insisted.

"I was playing on some crates and they weren't stacked right and they fell. I landed on some tools. It was too deep for a Jit's healing power to mend."

"And then?"

Brila growled again. "Why are you asking me about this? None of this proves that I'm Jit."

"Tell me."

"Why?"

"Tell me."

Brila let out an aggravated sigh. "Then my…_mother_ took me to the Sickbay to have it fixed. We didn't have a dermal regenerator and it had to be sewn shut."

"My waif," Narloc gasped, lowering her weapon.

Narloc pulled off her helmet, letting a cascade of black curls loose over her shoulders. There was a deep scare from under her right eye that ran across her cheek and ended on her chin. Brila smiled and threw her arms around Narloc's neck.

"NARLOC!" Brila cried.

Narloc smiled, hugging her back. "My waif," Narloc said warmly. She kissed Brila's cheek, laying her hand on Brila's opposite cheek. "I am so happy to see you."

"Can you let my crew go now?" Archer asked.

Narloc glanced at him. "You choose to cook, Brila?"

Brila's eyes lit up. "Yes! Chef has taught me how to make all these delicious dishes. My favorite is peanut butter pie. You should try some. We made it today."

"Perhaps," Narloc's smile faded. "Are you slaves?"

"No, Narloc. We aren't slaves." Brila again reached toward Archer's wound and this time Narloc only watched. Brila let her hand drop away from his arm the wound was gone. She looked at Narloc. "Please, let them go. They're our friends, Narloc."

Narloc smiled, tapping her shoulder. The combadge hidden under her uniform beeped. "Release the prisoners and stand down. Keep shields up and weapons armed. Fire if any vessel approaches." Narloc hugged Brila again. "We take nothing from this ship."

Archer was tempted to order his crew to take the Jit's weapons, but he was more curious about how Brila and Narloc knew one another.

#

Archer looked up, watching Narloc walk into his ready room.

"The repairs to your vessel are complete," Narloc told him.

"Thank you for lending a hand," Archer said.

"It was the least we could do."

"Perhaps next time you should ask the ship who they are before firing on them."

Narloc shook her head. "There are too many enemies."

Archer contemplated arguing but chose not to.

Narloc laughed suddenly.

"What?" Archer asked.

"Brila is right. You are an interesting species to be around. You have so many emotions, yet you do not act as much on them as I've seen others do."

"We've learned not to. Emotions are good, but keeping them in check is generally safer."

"Interesting perspective. Unlike your Vulcan officer's perspective."

"How do you know Brila?"

"My crew and I had attacked a cruise vessel and Brila's mother was a Jit slave on board. Brila had been born only hours before we attacked. Her mother begged me to take Brila with us so she could live free. I agreed. I raised Brila until she was eight. That's when our world was destroyed."

"By a Cardassian weapon." Archer nodded.

"You talk with them?"

Archer looked up at Narloc. "Them?"

"The Jit."

"Daily. Navta almost every hour," Archer chuckled.

"Navta is he blond Vispa."

"Yes."

"She is a sweet Jit."

"She is a sweet child. Jit has nothing to do with it."

Narloc nodded. "I'd heard rumors—I've been hearing them for nearly a year—that there was ship of aliens that had taken in Jit, regardless of the danger of Varlikon attacking them. They had helped the Jit defeat a squadron of Varlikon vessels and even freed Jit on a mining planet. I thought they were rumors."

"They were. It wasn't a squadron, it was five ships, and we had help from the Vulcans and Klingons. And we didn't free them from the planet. We went to retrieve two Jit and one of my crewmen that Cardassians had kidnapped. The freeing them happened by accident." Archer stood. "Not to say that we wouldn't help any Jit we came across, but those were rumors. The only one that wasn't was the virus. Malcolm wasn't going to watch his wife and unborn children die."

Narloc nodded. "We'd heard of it. Your doctor gave us the information about it. The Varlikon would like us dead."

"So I've noticed. But I think they underestimate the Jit. Another perspective of mine is that the Varlikon fight because it's their natures and the Jit fight for their freedom. In human history, some of the greatest and most successful wars were fought for freedom."

Narloc smiled. "I see why they stay with you and your crew. You care about them."

"They stay because they are family."

Narloc nodded. "My Brila has never been so happy as she is now. And she is an excellent cook. Your chef has taught her well."

Archer smiled. "He has."

"It was an honor to have met you and your crew, Captain Archer. We will be departing now." Narloc bowed her head, putting her hand to her chest. "With Et'Loe watching your feet, journey well and far and safe. When we meet in the golden halls of Ver'Lika, I will know you and we will eat, drink, and dance, and we will never know sorrow or hardship again. Blessings to you." Narloc transported off _Enterprise_ before Archer could reply.

#

Brila looked up when she heard someone clear his or her throat. She smiled at Archer.

"Captain," Brila said.

"How are you?" Archer asked.

"Well. Would you like something?" Brila turned to continue putting clean pots and pans away.

"No. I came to talk to you."

"About Narloc?" Brila asked.

"Yes. She's a pirate, isn't she?"

"Yes." Brila looked over her shoulder at Archer. "I'm glad you mentioned my name. Otherwise she would have stripped Enterprise bare."

"Pirates don't have much respect."

"On the contrary," Brila turned, holding her hands behind her back. She smiled. "They have a great deal of respect, just not for those they are pillaging. Narloc believes that others should be humbled at least once in their lives and feels her work adequately fulfills that belief."

"Do you believe that?"

Brila chuckled, lifting her chin a little. "Hardly. I…love her. She raised me. She did the best she could considering the circumstances. But she has never been my role model. Vardee was and still is."

"You know…I realized something today." Archer leaned on a counter.

"What's that, sir?"

"I know nothing about the Jit's religious beliefs."

Brila smiled. "Our beliefs are complicated."

"Narloc said something to me before she left. Do you mind telling me what it means?"

"Not at all."

"She said, 'With Et'Loe watching your feet, journey well and far and safe. When we meet in the golden halls of Ver'Lika, I will know you and we will eat, drink and dance and we will never know sorrow or hardship again. Blessing to you.' What does all that mean?"

Brila's eyes narrowed slightly. "You want to know what it means to you?"

"Yes."

"It means she respects you a great deal. Your ship and any ship you captain will never be raided. This ship will never be attacked again and if she is nearby and you call for help, she will aid you. She was impressed by you."

"That's the interpretation?"

"No. That's what it means for you."

"What's the interpretation?"

"Et'Loe is the great creator and guardian of life. Ver'Lika is were good Jit and Varlikon meet when they leave their mortal bodies. It is said that when a new soul arrives in Ver'Lika there is sixty life times of celebration where all will eat, drink, dance and know joy and peace like never before. Blessing to you means that she wishes Et'Loe's eternal guardianship upon you, and when your path becomes troubled and dark that he will guide and protect you until you once again reach smooth roads and the light of peace."

"Wow."

Brila smiled. "As I said, our religious beliefs are complicated."

"I can see that. I'm going to have to learn more about them."

Brila nodded her head to the side once. "I bless your learning with serenity and insight, Captain Archer."

"Thank you. Good night."

"You say griftlina. Blessings are always answered with the traditional response of griftlina."

"Griftlina." Archer nodded his head slightly. "Good-night, Brila."

"Good-night to you, sir."

Archer turned and left. Brila smiled, watching him leave.

"Oh, and did I mention, Captain," Brila said to the empty galley, "I chose to stay with you here on Enterprise? I wanted to stay and cook for you." Brila smiled, "And only you." Brila turned back to her work.


	7. Hole in the Wall

_Hole In The Wall (7)_

Archer stepped around a corner checking for Trip but he wasn't there. Archer turned and started walking down the hall again. One of Trip's men had told him that Trip was back here, but so far Archer wasn't having any luck finding him.

"Where is he, Port?" Archer asked, glancing down at Porthos.

Porthos looked up at Archer as he trotted along beside him. Archer stopped at a junction and found Trip.

"Come on Port," Archer said with a smile

His smile faded when he got close enough to see Trip's face. Trip's stance said he was furious, and he wore a 'ready to kill' expression.

In front of Trip two crewmen were laying on the floor, both squeezed into an access panel opening. Archer's brow furrowed. Two crewmen? Why were two crewmen in the opening? And how could they possibly work like that? What was Trip up to?

Trip cocked his head to the side, making Archer look at him. Archer reached down and picked Porthos up as he continued toward Trip. Trip looked at Archer when he stopped beside Trip. Archer opened his mouth to speak and Trip motioned him to wait. Trip looked back down at the men.

Now Archer could hear the crewmen's conversation and it made him raise his eyebrows.

One laughed, quietly saying, "Ooooo, baby. She looks even better _without_ clothes."

"Ensign Pierson just came in!" the other one almost squealed. "Oh my God! She wears _that_ under that uniform? I think I know who I'm going to have to move in on."

"Lieutenant Hess…look. Over there just stepping out of the shower."

"Look at that woman's ass! I could handle that and those tits all night."

Archer looked up at Trip, who's face seemed to have tensed a little more in the few seconds Archer had been standing there. Trip reached out and snatched Porthos from Archer. He crouched down and sat Porthos on the floor, pointing to the two crewmen.

"Go get 'em. Get 'em, Port," Trip said in a hushed voice and then stood.

Porthos trotted in between the two crewmen.

"Look at that woman's—" the first stopped mid-sentence.

The two crewmen slithered out of the access opening and slowly unfolded to rigid attention in front of Archer and Trip. Ensign Lowes was a blonde haired, blue-eyed man in his mid-twenties. He stood a few millimeters taller than the Ensign Alonzo. Alonzo's matte black hair soaked up most of the light, he was stockier than Lowes with olive colored skin. Archer crouched, snapping his fingers to Porthos. Porthos ran over to him and Archer scooped the dog up as he stood.

"Gentlemen," Trip said. His accent had grown thick and heavy with anger.

"Sirs," the men responded.

"Did you two gentlemen find what keeps shorting out control boards in this area?"

"Yes, sir, Commander, sir," the men replied in unison.

"And?"

Neither man answered.

"What's shorting them out, Ensign Alonzo?" Trip asked.

"Water…sir," Ensign Alonzo answered.

"I see. Where is the water coming from, gentlemen?"

Neither man answered. Trip's jaw began twitching. Archer long ago learned this was a sign that Trip was about to blow up. The two ensigns were treading on paper-thin ice

"Maybe some of that water got in you men's ears," Trip's voice grew darker with his anger. "_Where_ is the water coming from?"

"The women's shower room, sir," Ensign Lowes answered.

"You men confirmed that?"

"Yes, Commander," both answered.

"And _how_ did you two confirm it, Ensign Lowes?"

"We, uhm…" Ensign Lowes swallowed hard.

"ANSWER ME!" Trip snapped, causing even Archer to jump.

"There's a hole in the wall, sir, and the water's coming through it," Ensign Lowes quickly answered.

"A hole?"

"Yes, sir."

"That opens into the women's shower room?"

Neither ensign answered him.

"What were you two doing _together_ in that opening? Besides being cramped and make very inappropriate remarks."

Neither man answered.

"I asked you two men a question and I expect an answer NOW!" Trip yelled.

"Watching the women in the women's shower room through the hole in the wall, sir," Ensign Alonzo answered and then swallowed hard.

Archer tightened his face to keep from laughing. This really was inappropriate and his laughter would undermine Trip reprimanding his two men for their infraction.

"You two men have twenty minutes to repair the hole, replace the board, and get to section twelve on B deck. And then you are peeling potatoes for the rest of the week. Report to Chef. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir, Commander, sir."

"Get to work!" Trip snarled.

The two men turned and hastily returned to the work they had been sent to do.

Trip turned to Archer. "Can I help you, Cap'n?"

"Hm?" Archer asked, looking at Trip.

"Did you need something, sir?" Trip asked Archer.

Archer pressed his lips together when a smile flickered across Trip's lips. Trip's eyes started to water from the laughter he was holding back.

"There's a power fluctuation I need you to look into," Archer lied. "I'll show you where."

"Yes, sir."

Archer turned and the two walked away from the ensigns. When they were far enough away Archer started laughing. Trip was smiling when Archer looked back at him.

"_I_ would have liked to have seen some of the women that they mentioned naked," Trip said in a very hushed voice. "And I _have_ a girlfriend. I'm going ta hell!"

"Ohhhhh," Archer laughed. "That was very inappropriate of them, yes, but had it been me, I would have kept my mouth shut and watched and drooled. You have a partner in your damnation, Trip!"

"Did you see the look on their faces when they came out?" Trip asked.

Archer nodded, laughing harder.

"I would have given anything to see them when Porthos went in there." Trip leaned against the wall with Archer, putting his hands on his knees while he laughed.

Archer looked down at Porthos in his arms. "We need a comic relief. You up for the job, Port?"

Porthos barked and began beating Archer's side with his tail. Archer sat the dog down, so he could try regaining his composure.

"A hole in the women's shower. It doesn't get any more classic than that!" Archer said.

Both men burst into another round of gut wrenching laughter

"You weren't mad at them," Archer laughed.

"I _was_ mad!" Trip laughed. "But when I looked at that prune face you had…"

"I didn't have a prune face!"

"Let's go check the visual sensor. It was bad. Ya looked like you'd just sucked on a lemon!"

Both men laughed harder. Archer fell to the floor, leaning against the wall. Trip slid down the wall, sitting down beside him. Porthos jumped on the men, trying to lick their faces even as they pushed him away.

"Oh, Trip, I needed that today."

"Thank Ensigns Alonzo and Lowes, sir. This is at their expense."

Their hysterical laughter renewed. The men looked up to find T'Pol standing in front of them.

"He started it," they said together, pointing at each other.

T'Pol said nothing, which instigated another howl of hysterical laughter.

"Humans are curious," T'Pol commented.

And the men laughed harder.


	8. Sweet Revenge

_Sweet Revenge (8)_

Amanda opened her eyes, hearing the door of their quarters open. She lifted up on her elbows, watching the flashlight on Sherie's closet door.

"Lights, ten percent," Amanda ordered.

Trip spun, staring at her. He let out a relieved breath.

"What's on the agenda tonight, sir?" Amanda whispered.

Trip smiled. He switched off the flashlight and slid it into his back pocket. Trip turned and opened Sherie's closet door, pulling out her boots. Amanda leaned on one arm, watching him pick up a bowl of Jell-O and scoop some Jell-O in each boot. She wrinkled her nose; glad it was Sherie that Trip was avenging and not she.

Trip pushed the Jell-O into the toes of the boots and put them back. He picked up the bowl and shut the door. He motioned Amanda to be silent and left. Amanda lay back down.

"Lights, off," Amanda ordered. She rolled over and went back to sleep.

#

"AH!"

Amanda sat straight up, jarred from deep sleep by Sherie's yell. Amanda looked down at Sherie sitting in the chair below her. Sherie was holding her boot, staring at the Jell-O that was sliding toward the heel inside it.

"Problems?" Amanda rested her head in her arm, lying on her side so she could watch Sherie.

Sherie looked up at her. "I thought you were my friend."

"Have I ever told him when you were going to attack?"

"No."

"Have I ever given away your prank list?"

"No."

"So I am your friend."

"Then how come you never tell me when he pulls his pranks?"

Amanda smiled. "I'm your friend, this is true, but you started this and so far it's been too funny to interfere with. You want a stool pigeon, find someone who's not amused."

"For that I should pull a prank on you."

"That wouldn't be very sportsman like."

Sherie smiled. "Okay. Forgiven. But be forewarned, Manda, you ever help him and I'll get even."

"Yeah, whatever," Amanda rolled over to go back to sleep. "Maybe you shouldn't be such a heavy sleeper. I hear him every time he comes in, you know."

Jell-O hit Amanda in the back of the head.

"Thanks for the snack. Have a good day, Sherie!"

Sherie smiled at her roommate. She turned back to emptying and cleaning her boots out so she could wear them.

Ten-Hut (9)

Ensign Jacob Parker reached up and pulled down on the handle, holding it in position while Ensign Amanda Johnson entered information on the monitor. Nearby Sisyl, one of the eleven Jit, was purging the previous month's compactor schedule and reprogramming a new one. All three had earpieces dangling from their uniforms, attached with a clip at the shoulder, but only Sisyl had his earpiece in.

"And then?" Amanda asked Jacob.

"Well, then I said, 'You'd better watch it. You might tip over.'"

Amanda smiled. "And her come back?"

"A typical blonde come back. Silence."

"Blonde hair makes a difference?" Sisyl asked Jacob.

The two looked back at Sisyl.

"Humans have joked that blondes are stupid, but that's not really true.

Sisyl smiled. "What did you tell her then?"

"I told her that if her tits got any larger, she'd tip over and roll down the street." Jacob reached back, tapping Sisyl's shoulder. The Jit looked back at him. Jacob started rolling his arm up and down like he was taking it up and down hills. "In San Francisco, this is how most of our streets are. They're hilly and have steep inclines. So imagine this woman with these huge boobs rolling down the streets in San Francisco."

Sisyl laughed. "I see the humor now."

Jacob patted his shoulder, looking back at the lever. "You'll get this humor stuff yet, Sisyl."

"Almost got it," Amanda told Jacob.

"Yeah. Yeah. You women are all slow." Jacob reached out and poked her in the side.

She batted his hand away with a grin.

"Lieutenant McNielson is calling for you," Sisyl said, looking back at Jacob.

Jacob slid his earpiece back in his ear and adjusted the microphone.

"Ensign Parker here, sir."

"How far has Mandy gotten on the program. We're waiting with trash up here."

Above them a vent released steam and for a few minutes they couldn't hear anything else over it. Jacob pushed his earpiece in.

"Eh. A minute, maybe two. She's hustlin', sir."

"Tell her to hustle a little faster. Captain wanted this done before we went to warp. He's chompin' at the bit, kids."

"Wouldn't want him doing that, sir. Tell him to give us another three minutes and then we can be on our way, sir. Parker out." He pulled the earpiece off. "You're holding up the show here, Manda. And when did we become kids down here?"

"When we were born and never grew up," Amanda laughed.

"Incinerator is ready to ignite." Sisyl looked back at them.

"Get her warmed up. Come on Manda. You're holdin' up the dogs and ponies here!"

"I'm working on it!" Amanda cried, smiling at him.

Sisyl turned, leaning on the console. He wiped sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

"It gets so hot down here," Sisyl commented.

"It's the only place on the ship that has no temperature controls. The incinerator over there," Jacob pointed at it. "Kept blowing out the sensors so they stopped trying."

"Nice place for a sauna though." Amanda smiled up at Jacob.

"What is a sauna?" Sisyl asked.

"You've never been in a sauna?" Jacob asked.

Sisyl shook his head.

Jacob put his earpiece back on. "Parker to Lieutenant McNielson."

"McNielson here."

"Sir, when we get done with this, permission to take a twenty minute break. Sisyl's never been to Ten-Hut."

"Really?" Lieutenant McNielson asked.

"Really, sir."

"How far behind are we?"

"Sisyl, pull up the duty roster."

Sisyl turned and pulled it up.

"Tell me how many jobs ahead of this one we have?"

"Clean the tanks and routine maintenance on hydraulics."

"Did you catch that, sir?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah. We can put that on tomorrow's list. Finish this and cut your day short. See you guys tomorrow."

"Will do sir. Hey Mandy, guess what?" Jacob dropped his earpiece off his ear again, making a clicking noise.

"We get outta school early?" Amanda smiled at Jacob.

"I love our boss," Jacob said. "We'll show you the sauna today, okay?"

Sisyl nodded.

"Now, this sauna thing is the reclamation team's secret. You can't go telling anyone, not even the other Jit. Hell, the captain doesn't even know about it. It has to stay that way, got it?"

Sisyl nodded.

"Okay. Put all systems except the compactor on automatic for the night."

Sisyl turned back to the console and started down the systems.

Jacob let the hand go.

"Programming done and running," Amanda looked slyly at Jacob. "Because _I_ am a programming goddess!"

"Uh-oh, Sisyl. Miss Amanda Jones's ego is starting to inflate."

"Amanda Jones?" Sisyl looked back at Jacob. "I thought her last name was Johnson."

Amanda and Jacob both laughed. "It is. It's an old joke." Amanda explained to Sisyl.

"Oh. Someday I might actually understand your jokes, Jacob."

"Until then, my friend, just go with the flow. Put the compactor on automatic."

Sisyl did and turned back to Jacob.

"Okay. You got any civilian clothes?"

"Yes."

"Go change and put some shorts on underneath. Tuck a towel under your shirt so no one sees it and then meet us back here in ten minutes. Hurry."

Sisyl obeyed.

#

Sisyl stared though the door Jacob was holding open. Inside Amanda was sitting in a tank top and shorts and reading a book. Beside her another reclamation officer, Manny Franklin, was laying on a bench dressed only in a pair of knee length and brightly colored shorts.

"Come on," Jacob urged.

"Why is it steamy in there?"

"We take the steam off the water boilers behind the kitchen and pipe it in here," Jacob explained. "It's safe. We built it ourselves. Right after the junkyard wars back on the Ilterian moon. We smuggled the parts up here and put it together. We call it Ten-Hut."

Sisyl slowly stepped into the room, looking around. There were two tiers of wide wooden benches around the circle room. From a vent above hot steam blew into the room and was vented through three smaller vents along the top of the room. Jacob hopped up onto the top bench and sat back against the wall.

"This is a sauna?" Sisyl asked.

"Close," Amanda answered. "More like a steam bath, but we call it a sauna."

The door opened and Lieutenant McNielson came in and sat down.

"How was your day, Mikeal?" Manny asked.

"I am ready for an hour of this," Mikeal said. "I hate staff meetings."

"Remind me never to be a Lieutenant," Amanda said from behind her book. "You have to do too much for my taste."

The four chuckled.

Sisyl sat down on a bench, leaning back against the wall. He let out a soft breath, listening to his crewmates talk about their day and ship gossip. He closed his eyes drifting into a light doze as his body relaxed in the heat.

"Sisyl."

Sisyl opened his eyes. The three were staring at him.

"What?" Sisyl asked.

Amanda leaned forward, gripping the bench. "What animal is your DNA?"

"It is called Opatha."

"What is that?"

"It was a cat many Varlikon kept as pets. It was one of the first five created."

"Okay, this is going to take some getting used to." Amanda leaned back.

"What?" Sisyl asked.

Manny looked at Sisyl. "You were purring, my friend. But you know, I kinda liked it. I was about asleep until loose lips here," Manny motioned to Amanda, "started gabbing."

"Yeah. Stop gabbing, Amanda. I was enjoying it too." Mikeal reached out and batted her arm.

Sisyl smiled. "It's okay?"

"Yeah. It's good. Go back to sleep or whatever." Mikeal closed his eyes. "Did anyone set the timer?"

"On the way in," Jacob said.

The room was silent again. Sisyl closed his eyes, drifting back into a doze and starting to purr again.


	9. TenHut

_Ten-Hut (9)_

Ensign Jacob Parker reached up and pulled down on the handle, holding it in position while Ensign Amanda Johnson entered information on the monitor. Nearby Sisyl, one of the eleven Jit, was purging the previous month's compactor schedule and reprogramming a new one. All three had earpieces dangling from their uniforms, attached with a clip at the shoulder, but only Sisyl had his earpiece in.

"And then?" Amanda asked Jacob.

"Well, then I said, 'You'd better watch it. You might tip over.'"

Amanda smiled. "And her come back?"

"A typical blonde come back. Silence."

"Blonde hair makes a difference?" Sisyl asked Jacob.

The two looked back at Sisyl.

"Humans have joked that blondes are stupid, but that's not really true.

Sisyl smiled. "What did you tell her then?"

"I told her that if her tits got any larger, she'd tip over and roll down the street." Jacob reached back, tapping Sisyl's shoulder. The Jit looked back at him. Jacob started rolling his arm up and down like he was taking it up and down hills. "In San Francisco, this is how most of our streets are. They're hilly and have steep inclines. So imagine this woman with these huge boobs rolling down the streets in San Francisco."

Sisyl laughed. "I see the humor now."

Jacob patted his shoulder, looking back at the lever. "You'll get this humor stuff yet, Sisyl."

"Almost got it," Amanda told Jacob.

"Yeah. Yeah. You women are all slow." Jacob reached out and poked her in the side.

She batted his hand away with a grin.

"Lieutenant McNielson is calling for you," Sisyl said, looking back at Jacob.

Jacob slid his earpiece back in his ear and adjusted the microphone.

"Ensign Parker here, sir."

"How far has Mandy gotten on the program. We're waiting with trash up here."

Above them a vent released steam and for a few minutes they couldn't hear anything else over it. Jacob pushed his earpiece in.

"Eh. A minute, maybe two. She's hustlin', sir."

"Tell her to hustle a little faster. Captain wanted this done before we went to warp. He's chompin' at the bit, kids."

"Wouldn't want him doing that, sir. Tell him to give us another three minutes and then we can be on our way, sir. Parker out." He pulled the earpiece off. "You're holding up the show here, Manda. And when did we become kids down here?"

"When we were born and never grew up," Amanda laughed.

"Incinerator is ready to ignite." Sisyl looked back at them.

"Get her warmed up. Come on Manda. You're holdin' up the dogs and ponies here!"

"I'm working on it!" Amanda cried, smiling at him.

Sisyl turned, leaning on the console. He wiped sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

"It gets so hot down here," Sisyl commented.

"It's the only place on the ship that has no temperature controls. The incinerator over there," Jacob pointed at it. "Kept blowing out the sensors so they stopped trying."

"Nice place for a sauna though." Amanda smiled up at Jacob.

"What is a sauna?" Sisyl asked.

"You've never been in a sauna?" Jacob asked.

Sisyl shook his head.

Jacob put his earpiece back on. "Parker to Lieutenant McNielson."

"McNielson here."

"Sir, when we get done with this, permission to take a twenty minute break. Sisyl's never been to Ten-Hut."

"Really?" Lieutenant McNielson asked.

"Really, sir."

"How far behind are we?"

"Sisyl, pull up the duty roster."

Sisyl turned and pulled it up.

"Tell me how many jobs ahead of this one we have?"

"Clean the tanks and routine maintenance on hydraulics."

"Did you catch that, sir?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah. We can put that on tomorrow's list. Finish this and cut your day short. See you guys tomorrow."

"Will do sir. Hey Mandy, guess what?" Jacob dropped his earpiece off his ear again, making a clicking noise.

"We get outta school early?" Amanda smiled at Jacob.

"I love our boss," Jacob said. "We'll show you the sauna today, okay?"

Sisyl nodded.

"Now, this sauna thing is the reclamation team's secret. You can't go telling anyone, not even the other Jit. Hell, the captain doesn't even know about it. It has to stay that way, got it?"

Sisyl nodded.

"Okay. Put all systems except the compactor on automatic for the night."

Sisyl turned back to the console and started down the systems.

Jacob let the hand go.

"Programming done and running," Amanda looked slyly at Jacob. "Because _I_ am a programming goddess!"

"Uh-oh, Sisyl. Miss Amanda Jones's ego is starting to inflate."

"Amanda Jones?" Sisyl looked back at Jacob. "I thought her last name was Johnson."

Amanda and Jacob both laughed. "It is. It's an old joke." Amanda explained to Sisyl.

"Oh. Someday I might actually understand your jokes, Jacob."

"Until then, my friend, just go with the flow. Put the compactor on automatic."

Sisyl did and turned back to Jacob.

"Okay. You got any civilian clothes?"

"Yes."

"Go change and put some shorts on underneath. Tuck a towel under your shirt so no one sees it and then meet us back here in ten minutes. Hurry."

Sisyl obeyed.

#

Sisyl stared though the door Jacob was holding open. Inside Amanda was sitting in a tank top and shorts and reading a book. Beside her another reclamation officer, Manny Franklin, was laying on a bench dressed only in a pair of knee length and brightly colored shorts.

"Come on," Jacob urged.

"Why is it steamy in there?"

"We take the steam off the water boilers behind the kitchen and pipe it in here," Jacob explained. "It's safe. We built it ourselves. Right after the junkyard wars back on the Ilterian moon. We smuggled the parts up here and put it together. We call it Ten-Hut."

Sisyl slowly stepped into the room, looking around. There were two tiers of wide wooden benches around the circle room. From a vent above hot steam blew into the room and was vented through three smaller vents along the top of the room. Jacob hopped up onto the top bench and sat back against the wall.

"This is a sauna?" Sisyl asked.

"Close," Amanda answered. "More like a steam bath, but we call it a sauna."

The door opened and Lieutenant McNielson came in and sat down.

"How was your day, Mikeal?" Manny asked.

"I am ready for an hour of this," Mikeal said. "I hate staff meetings."

"Remind me never to be a Lieutenant," Amanda said from behind her book. "You have to do too much for my taste."

The four chuckled.

Sisyl sat down on a bench, leaning back against the wall. He let out a soft breath, listening to his crewmates talk about their day and ship gossip. He closed his eyes drifting into a light doze as his body relaxed in the heat.

"Sisyl."

Sisyl opened his eyes. The three were staring at him.

"What?" Sisyl asked.

Amanda leaned forward, gripping the bench. "What animal is your DNA?"

"It is called Opatha."

"What is that?"

"It was a cat many Varlikon kept as pets. It was one of the first five created."

"Okay, this is going to take some getting used to." Amanda leaned back.

"What?" Sisyl asked.

Manny looked at Sisyl. "You were purring, my friend. But you know, I kinda liked it. I was about asleep until loose lips here," Manny motioned to Amanda, "started gabbing."

"Yeah. Stop gabbing, Amanda. I was enjoying it too." Mikeal reached out and batted her arm.

Sisyl smiled. "It's okay?"

"Yeah. It's good. Go back to sleep or whatever." Mikeal closed his eyes. "Did anyone set the timer?"

"On the way in," Jacob said.

The room was silent again. Sisyl closed his eyes, drifting back into a doze and starting to purr again.


End file.
